纽约时报中文网 - 中英对照版-中英自由更重要中国自驾游阿姨苏敏宣布离婚

In the four years since she began driving solo across China, leaving behind an abusive marriage and longstanding expectations about women’s duties at home, Su Min, 60, has become an internet sensation known as the “road-trip auntie.”

自从四年前开始独自驾车周游中国，从一段充满屈辱的婚姻中出走，抛下传统观念中女性承担家庭责任的期待后，60岁的苏敏已成为一名被人称为“自驾游阿姨”的网红。

She has driven to the foot of Mount Everest and camped on the beach in the tropical province of Hainan. She has been featured in an ad campaign about female empowerment and inspired a forthcoming movie starring a famous Chinese actress.

她驾车去过珠峰大本营，曾在热带省份海南的海滩上露营。她曾参与拍摄有关女性赋权的广告，根据她的故事改编的电影即将上映，影片由一位中国著名女演员主演。

But one key step in Ms. Su’s emancipation eluded her: She wavered on whether to file for divorce, worried about how it would affect her family.

但苏敏离彻底解放自己还差关键的一步：她曾在是否要提出离婚的问题上犹豫不决，担心离婚会给家庭带来影响。

Until now. Last month, Ms. Su officially began divorce proceedings.

直到现在。上个月，苏敏正式开始了离婚程序。

Her decision, she said, is a testament to how much she has learned to commit to her own happiness, and to the self confidence she has gained on the road.

她说，离婚的决定是她在如何追求自身幸福上学到了多少东西的证明，也是她在旅途中获得的自信的证明。

But her experience in trying to end the marriage also shows the many barriers to independence that Chinese women still face. Ms. Su’s husband at first refused to divorce, and a legal fight loomed. Judges in contested divorce cases often deny petitions or force couples into mediation that disadvantages the woman, studies show, and they frequently ignore claims of domestic violence.

但她试图结束婚姻的经历也表明，中国女性在自我实现上仍面临许多障碍。苏敏的丈夫起初拒绝离婚，双方面临一场法律纠纷。研究表明，如果夫妻无法就离婚问题达成一致，法官经常会驳回离婚申请、或强迫夫妻进行不利于女方的调解，而且法官经常无视对家庭暴力的指控。

It was only when Ms. Su agreed to pay her husband more than $22,000 that he gave in, she said.

在她同意付给丈夫16万元后，丈夫才同意离婚，苏敏说。

“It’s all I have — how could I not be upset?” Ms. Su said in an interview several days after negotiating the agreement. She was parked near the city of Guiyang in southwestern China, where she had recently toured a sculpture park nestled among green hills.

“（16万）是我的所有，我能不难受吗？”苏敏在达成离婚协议几天后接受采访时说。当时她的车正停在中国西南部城市贵阳附近，她刚在那里游览了一个坐落在绿色山丘中的雕塑公园。

Still, she said, “even though money is very important, freedom is more important.”

尽管如此，她说，“虽然钱很重要，但我感觉自由更重要。”

Ms. Su began vlogging after she set out from her home in Zhengzhou, a city in central China, in September 2020. In between shots of turquoise lakes and rolling fields, she explained why she, a retired factory worker with a high school education, had finally struck out on her own. She was tired of living for others, bearing her husband’s demands and shouldering housework. For decades, she had believed that was just how life was for women, but now she was finally ready for a change.

2020年9月，苏敏从郑州的家中出发后，开始用视频博客记录旅程。视频中除了碧绿的湖泊和连绵起伏的田野外，还有她对自己为什么自驾游的解释。这名有高中文化程度的退休工人终于决定要自己独立出去。她厌倦了为他人活着，忍受丈夫的要求，承担家务劳动。几十年来，她曾一直认为那就是女性的生活，但现在她终于决定要摆脱那种生活。

To her surprise, her videos went viral. Women across the country said they saw themselves or their mothers in her story and cheered her on as she rewrote it.

令她惊讶的是，她发到网上的视频被人疯传。全国各地的女性说，她们在她的故事中看到了自己或母亲的身影，她们为她正在改写自己的生活而欢呼雀跃。

But even as Ms. Su became an accidental icon of women’s awakening, she said that she did not want a divorce. She worried that the responsibility of caring for her husband would fall on her daughter if she left him. Divorce also still carried a stigma among older generations, and Ms. Su’s mother opposed it.

但就在苏敏意外地成了女性觉醒的代表人物后，她也曾表示不想离婚。她担心如果离开丈夫，照顾丈夫的责任会落在女儿身上。离婚仍在老一辈人眼里是一种耻辱，苏敏的母亲就反对她离婚。

Gradually, though, Ms. Su began to reconsider. After her husband realized she was making money off her vlogs, he asked her for money, she said — and she worried that could continue if she didn’t extricate herself.

但苏敏逐渐开始重新考虑。她说，丈夫发现她通过视频博客挣了钱后，开始向她要钱，她担心如果自己不摆脱这种局面，这种情况可能会继续下去。

Her daughter urged Ms. Su to put herself first, telling her, “You’ve given so much to our family.”

她女儿敦促苏敏把自己放在第一位，女儿对她说，“你为我们家付出这么多。”

“Every time I talk about this, I want to cry,” Ms. Su said.

“每次说到这我都又想哭，”苏敏说。

Still, deciding to divorce was only the first step.

尽管如此，决定离婚只是第一步。

Chinese law recognizes domestic violence as grounds for one-sided divorce, and Ms. Su tried to make her case. She filmed an argument between herself and her husband, where he admitted to having hit her in the past (and also demanded $70,000 to agree to a divorce). But a lawyer told her that she would need more evidence, such as hospital records.

中国法律承认存在家庭暴力是单方面提出离婚的理由，苏敏试图以这个理由提出离婚。她拍了自己和丈夫争吵的视频，丈夫承认过去曾打过她（他也提出了要给他50万元让他同意离婚的要求）。但一名律师告诉苏敏，她需要更多的证据，比如医院病历。

Even when there is ample evidence, judges rarely rule that domestic violence has occurred, said Ke Li, a professor at the City University of New York who has studied divorce in China.

即使证据充足，法官也很少裁定发生了家庭暴力，纽约市立大学研究中国离婚问题的教授李柯说。

“Courts still try so hard to protect the integrity of marriage as opposed to women’s rights,” Professor Li said, because the government sees marriage as a foundation for social stability.

“法院仍在竭力保护婚姻完整，而不是女性权益，”李柯说，因为政府认为婚姻是社会稳定的基础。

If Ms. Su could not count on a finding of domestic violence, she wanted to avoid going to court because a judge would likely then order her to split her assets with her husband, including the rights to her social media accounts. That would mean sharing with him the very platform that had given her the confidence to walk away in the first place.

如果苏敏不能指望法庭以家庭暴力的理由允许离婚的话，她想避免上法庭，因为法官很可能会判她与丈夫所有的财产都要对半分，包括她自媒体账号的所有权。那将意味着要与他分享当初让她有信心离开的平台。

Ms. Su refused.

苏敏拒绝了。

“What saved me was not only myself, but the consistent support and company of my fans on this account,” she said in a video announcing her plans to divorce. “This is the thing I’m most proud of in my life. I can’t give it to him.”

“拯救我的不仅仅是我自己，还有这个账号里面的粉丝一路的陪伴和鼓励，”她在宣布离婚方案的视频中说。“这是我一辈子最值得骄傲的事。我不能给他。”

After negotiations, her husband agreed to divorce without going to court for $22,000.

经过谈判，苏敏的丈夫同意以16万元的分手费离婚，没有上法庭。

This month, Ms. Su is at home in Zhengzhou to finalize the paperwork.

本月，苏敏在郑州的家中完成了离婚协议。

But she is already planning her next destination. She has never been abroad and is eager to see Switzerland and Paris.

她已在计划下一个目的地。她从未出过国，非常想去瑞士和巴黎看看。

“Once this paperwork is done, I can go any time.”

“只要把手续能办好，我随时都可以。”